








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3382 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2624 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1817 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,767 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heartbreaker ツ | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | w e n e | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | hipn0t1k | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | ♡ oscean ♡ | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | Hipn0t1k (BAZINGA) | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hipn0t1k (BAZINGA) | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ♡ oscean ♡ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | :') | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Tuelo3 | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ oscean ♡ | 291 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hipn0t1k (BAZINGA) | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Willie Nelson ⭕⃤ | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⑮ ✓☆ h2s | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪Raspateco | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latas | +4.80 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪Raspateco | +3.54 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | BISPO NU | +3.43 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | w e n e | +3.39 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | Tuelo3 | +1.66 | 64 | 47 |





