








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 355 | 12% |
| Smokes | 750 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,538 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Highx75 | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Oxycodon | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | Luca von Müller | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Knack09bandit.gg | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | DasASbandit.gg | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Oxycodon | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | Luca von Müller | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Knack09bandit.gg | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | DasASbandit.gg | 45% | 88 |
| #6 | NotXP08 | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knack09bandit.gg | 10 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | DasASbandit.gg | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | NotXP08 | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Luca von Müller | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Oxycodon | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxycodon | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | NotXP08 | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Knack09bandit.gg | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luca von Müller | 37 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | DasASbandit.gg | 27 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotXP08 | +4.32 | 38 | 53 |
| #2 | Oxycodon | +2.85 | 34 | 62 |
| #3 | jonasch1404 *********** | +0.67 | 38 | 23 |
| #4 | Knack09bandit.gg | -0.86 | 28 | 30 |
| #5 | Highx75 | -1.23 | 12 | 17 |





