








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 71 | 5% |
| Smokes | 322 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 598 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,373 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonasch1404 *********** | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Oxycodon | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | Luca von Müller | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | FRITZDIEECKE | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | NotXP08 | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Oxycodon | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | Luca von Müller | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | FRITZDIEECKE | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | NotXP08 | 38% | 29 |
| #6 | Knack09bandit.gg | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxycodon | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | NotXP08 | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Knack09bandit.gg | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | jonasch1404 *********** | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Luca von Müller | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxycodon | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | NotXP08 | 64 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Knack09bandit.gg | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | FRITZDIEECKE | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Luca von Müller | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotXP08 | +4.49 | 44 | 66 |
| #2 | Oxycodon | +0.98 | 28 | 62 |
| #3 | jonasch1404 *********** | +0.22 | 26 | 21 |
| #4 | Luca von Müller | -2.16 | 11 | 12 |
| #5 | Highx75 | -2.18 | 17 | 17 |





