








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 276 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 982 | 21% |
| Smokes | 914 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1457 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1269 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,866 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotXP08 | 50% | 310 |
| #2 | Oxycodon | 50% | 120 |
| #3 | π°ππππππ | 46% | 59 |
| #4 | jonasch1404 *********** | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | Luca von MΓΌller | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Oxycodon | 50% | 120 |
| #3 | π°ππππππ | 46% | 59 |
| #4 | jonasch1404 *********** | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | Luca von MΓΌller | 40% | 40 |
| #6 | Highx75 | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotXP08 | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | jonasch1404 *********** | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Luca von MΓΌller | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Oxycodon | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | π°ππππππ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotXP08 | 429 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Oxycodon | 214 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Luca von MΓΌller | 46 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | jonasch1404 *********** | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | π°ππππππ | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotXP08 | +3.73 | 34 | 57 |
| #2 | Oxycodon | +2.42 | 37 | 59 |
| #3 | jonasch1404 *********** | -0.23 | 32 | 20 |
| #4 | Knack09bandit.gg | -1.64 | 34 | 28 |
| #5 | Luca von MΓΌller | -2.54 | 11 | 13 |





