








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7708 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5561 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6690 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5293 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,439 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1752 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dark | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | cock guzel | 65% | 52 |
| #3 | PAINT | 65% | 62 |
| #4 | Rabbit | 63% | 98 |
| #5 | sLix マ | 59% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbit | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | sLix マ | 8 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | wHo ✪ | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | PlodyRed | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | cock guzel | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbit | 494 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | hyrez. | 155 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | PAINT | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | PlodyRed | 94 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | cock guzel | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | charlemagne | +4.07 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | PlodyRed | +2.26 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | wHo ✪ | +0.22 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | hyrez. | +0.17 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | sLix マ | -0.45 | 68 | 53 |





