








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 19% |
| Smokes | 402 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,977 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jore | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Doggy | 49% | 59 |
| #3 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 46% | 83 |
| #4 | Mr Smith | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Chargoon | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jore | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Doggy | 49% | 59 |
| #3 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 46% | 83 |
| #4 | Mr Smith | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Chargoon | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggy | 22 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 13 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Chargoon | 4 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 536 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| #2 | Doggy | 187 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Chargoon | 44 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jore | 21 | 0.51 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chargoon | +8.03 | 94 | 74 |
| #2 | Mr Smith | +3.91 | 73 | 80 |
| #3 | Doggy | +3.08 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | Jore | +0.79 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | -0.29 | 78 | 59 |





