








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1797 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1220 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1900 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,947 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 842 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | Bulbul | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | ︻S̷t̷e̷w̷i̷e̷ 一 | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 62% | 98 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ︻S̷t̷e̷w̷i̷e̷ 一 | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 62% | 98 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 58% | 26 |
| #6 | ♿ BoBi ✝ 𝕿𝖔𝖕 𝕲 | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | A1B2U34 | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 15 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ︻S̷t̷e̷w̷i̷e̷ 一 | 3 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | A1B2U34 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | 714 | 0.39 | 14 min |
| #2 | A1B2U34 | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bulbul | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggy | +7.22 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | Joreksi◕‿◕ | +0.31 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Bulbul | +0.14 | 84 | 50 |
| #4 | ♿ BoBi ✝ 𝕿𝖔𝖕 𝕲 | -1.35 | 45 | 50 |
| #5 | ︻S̷t̷e̷w̷i̷e̷ 一 | -2.42 | 32 | 57 |





