








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3298 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1755 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1845 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,344 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realszekely | 72% | 68 |
| #2 | 𝕮 𝕬 𝕽 𝕷 𝕺 𝕾 | 64% | 92 |
| #3 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 63% | 121 |
| #4 | Capt. Irgumburgum | 59% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realszekely | 72% | 68 |
| #2 | 𝕮 𝕬 𝕽 𝕷 𝕺 𝕾 | 64% | 92 |
| #3 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 63% | 121 |
| #4 | Capt. Irgumburgum | 59% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realszekely | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Capt. Irgumburgum | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | 𝕮 𝕬 𝕽 𝕷 𝕺 𝕾 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕮 𝕬 𝕽 𝕷 𝕺 𝕾 | 243 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 186 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Capt. Irgumburgum | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | realszekely | 18 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | +2.61 | 87 | 40 |
| #2 | FuturE | +2.51 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | Capt. Irgumburgum | +2.39 | 94 | 29 |
| #4 | realszekely | +1.39 | 87 | 30 |
| #5 | 𝕮 𝕬 𝕽 𝕷 𝕺 𝕾 | +0.43 | 80 | 59 |





