








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 567 | 20% |
| Smokes | 200 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1346 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 693 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,670 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1997 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realszekely | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | FuturE | 59% | 100 |
| #3 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 54% | 140 |
| #4 | Sabi ⭕⃤🐸 | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realszekely | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | FuturE | 59% | 100 |
| #3 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 54% | 140 |
| #4 | Sabi ⭕⃤🐸 | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuturE | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | realszekely | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Sabi ⭕⃤🐸 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | 239 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | FuturE | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sabi ⭕⃤🐸 | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | realszekely | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TÁK TÁK DiddyDaddy | +2.91 | 88 | 41 |
| #2 | Capt. Irgumburgum | +2.44 | 93 | 29 |
| #3 | FuturE | +1.44 | 80 | 47 |
| #4 | realszekely | +1.11 | 87 | 29 |
| #5 | Sabi ⭕⃤🐸 | -2.23 | 45 | 59 |





