








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1759 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1759 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,215 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0vA | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Aahrix | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | poop dealer | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Busterifle | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Busterifle | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | justab1rd | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Azræl | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | sloppii | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justab1rd | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Azræl | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Aahrix | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | poop dealer | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | sloppii | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justab1rd | 182 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aahrix | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Busterifle | 56 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | poop dealer | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azræl | +2.97 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | justab1rd | +2.55 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | poop dealer | +1.61 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Cliperado | +1.55 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | n0vA | +1.47 | 71 | 62 |





