








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4966 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4496 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2902 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3421 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,644 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 545 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JudeJudy | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | sloppii | 64% | 67 |
| #3 | arex | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | Busterifle | 59% | 153 |
| #5 | Cliperado | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Corgi | 55% | 42 |
| #7 | justab1rd | 53% | 40 |
| #8 | kimmyjohnson :) | 52% | 96 |
| #9 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 52% | 110 |
| #10 | poop dealer | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kimmyjohnson :) | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | arex | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Busterifle | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | sloppii | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Corgi | 5 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Busterifle | 448 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | kimmyjohnson :) | 343 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 321 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | justab1rd | 186 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | sloppii | 164 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JudeJudy | +4.33 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | +2.28 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | justab1rd | +1.97 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | Aahrix | +1.51 | 63 | 69 |
| #5 | Cliperado | +1.45 | 74 | 58 |





