








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2345 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1523 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2260 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,928 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moot | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | sloppii | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | n0vA | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | poop dealer | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 『 Shiro』 | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | Busterifle | 52% | 27 |
| #9 | Cliperado | 49% | 35 |
| #10 | kimmyjohnson :) | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | NICKCAGE23 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aahrix | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Cliperado | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | poop dealer | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | kimmyjohnson :) | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | sloppii | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poop dealer | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | 169 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aahrix | 161 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cliperado | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | 『 Shiro』 | 104 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 Shiro』 | +2.55 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | moot | +1.50 | 94 | 22 |
| #3 | justab1rd | +1.31 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Cliperado | +0.88 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | SIGMA AHRI FANBOY | +0.27 | 52 | 63 |





