








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2792 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3108 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2965 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2592 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,984 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maiku | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | -Flyder | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | wumba | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | cyronal | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | S4UFC4L_4BST1ERZ | 41% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cyronal | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | S4UFC4L_4BST1ERZ | 41% | 78 |
| #6 | ✪ c r 0 x x | 41% | 59 |
| #7 | Commissar | 38% | 56 |
| #8 | Störtebeker | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S4UFC4L_4BST1ERZ | 17 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | wumba | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | cyronal | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | ✪ c r 0 x x | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Commissar | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wumba | 206 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Commissar | 187 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Störtebeker | 158 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ c r 0 x x | 147 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | S4UFC4L_4BST1ERZ | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maiku | +3.28 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | -Flyder | +2.14 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | wumba | +1.93 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | cyronal | +0.56 | 60 | 39 |
| #5 | Beasty | -0.36 | 54 | 61 |





