








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5776 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5271 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4258 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4946 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,625 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Störtebeker | 42% | 184 |
| #8 | -Flyder | 40% | 219 |
| #9 | S4UFC4L_4BST1ERZ | 39% | 31 |
| #10 | ✪ c r 0 x x | 38% | 53 |
| #11 | Beasty | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyronal | 18 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | wumba | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | -Flyder | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Lucas | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Störtebeker | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mORCH | 1001 | 0.33 | 29 min |
| #2 | -Flyder | 811 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | Störtebeker | 566 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Maiku | 471 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | wumba | 415 | 0.11 | 13 min |





