








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1709 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3411 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3349 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4274 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,406,915 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabz | 50% | 161 |
| #2 | The Stig | 50% | 406 |
| #3 | KingSexy_Slayr | 48% | 318 |
| #4 | August | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabz | 50% | 161 |
| #2 | The Stig | 50% | 406 |
| #3 | KingSexy_Slayr | 48% | 318 |
| #4 | August | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabz | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | KingSexy_Slayr | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | The Stig | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | August | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingSexy_Slayr | 1340 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | The Stig | 557 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | Shabz | 327 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | August | 148 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AeChronos | +2.06 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | Shabz | +0.85 | 82 | 47 |
| #3 | KingSexy_Slayr | +0.33 | 58 | 48 |
| #4 | The Stig | -0.68 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | August | -0.87 | 46 | 62 |





