








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5429 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3897 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 627 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2356 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $805,982 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabz | 52% | 119 |
| #2 | AeChronos | 48% | 318 |
| #3 | The Stig | 48% | 389 |
| #4 | August | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabz | 52% | 119 |
| #2 | AeChronos | 48% | 318 |
| #3 | The Stig | 48% | 389 |
| #4 | August | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AeChronos | 22 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Shabz | 18 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | The Stig | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | August | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Stig | 548 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #2 | AeChronos | 284 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | August | 266 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Shabz | 259 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AeChronos | +2.13 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Shabz | +1.31 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | KingSexy_Slayr | +0.21 | 57 | 48 |
| #4 | The Stig | -0.67 | 48 | 56 |
| #5 | August | -0.74 | 45 | 62 |





