








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 662 | 22% |
| Smokes | 935 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,861 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niccie.nics | 47% | 32 |
| #2 | existingstew700 | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Gambid | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | B R O L O X banditcamp.com | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | PieRios | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PieRios | 44% | 41 |
| #6 | Kung Fu Panty | 41% | 34 |
| #7 | Gutsy_Wolf | 31% | 16 |
| #8 | Chesterfield | 30% | 10 |
| #9 | FlikMeister | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PieRios | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Panty | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | B R O L O X banditcamp.com | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | existingstew700 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Gambid | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PieRios | 155 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | existingstew700 | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | B R O L O X banditcamp.com | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kung Fu Panty | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chesterfield | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B R O L O X banditcamp.com | +6.36 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Gambid | +4.27 | 75 | 32 |
| #3 | FlikMeister | +2.85 | 43 | 66 |
| #4 | CamelDouble36_Mybru | +0.80 | 58 | 58 |
| #5 | existingstew700 | +0.13 | 18 | 52 |





