










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 223 | 25% |
| Smokes | 170 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 275 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 212 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,082 of utility $282 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gambid | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | niccie.nics | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | CamelDouble36_Mybru | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | existingstew700 | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Gutsy_Wolf | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | niccie.nics | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | CamelDouble36_Mybru | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | existingstew700 | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Gutsy_Wolf | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | FlikMeister | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CamelDouble36_Mybru | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | existingstew700 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | niccie.nics | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Gambid | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CamelDouble36_Mybru | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | existingstew700 | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | niccie.nics | 16 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | FlikMeister | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gutsy_Wolf | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlikMeister | +4.83 | 46 | 65 |
| #2 | Gambid | +3.87 | 75 | 34 |
| #3 | CamelDouble36_Mybru | +3.72 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | existingstew700 | -0.71 | 16 | 57 |
| #5 | niccie.nics | -1.81 | 9 | 39 |





