








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2172 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1999 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1978 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1935 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $879,173 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | Wayferr | 76% | 38 |
| #2 | George | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | imp | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | B1O0M | 62% | 52 |
| #5 | ExplainTheKids™ | 58% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jakey Wakey | 53% | 43 |
| #7 | Unknown_Mortem | 53% | 45 |
| #8 | K3NDOV | 53% | 32 |
| #9 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | tiferoshe | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiferoshe | 25 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | ExplainTheKids™ | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Jakey Wakey | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | MK | Wayferr | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | K3NDOV | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unknown_Mortem | 187 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | MK | Wayferr | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | K3NDOV | 116 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jakey Wakey | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ExplainTheKids™ | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiferoshe | +2.59 | 84 | 35 |
| #2 | imp | +1.26 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | George | +1.23 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Stolencookie | +0.91 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | K3NDOV | +0.89 | 56 | 63 |





