








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1444 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 538 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,228,983 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | Wayferr | 78% | 32 |
| #2 | George | 68% | 66 |
| #3 | Stolencookie | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | ExplainTheKids™ | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | Wayferr | 78% | 32 |
| #2 | George | 68% | 66 |
| #3 | Stolencookie | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | ExplainTheKids™ | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExplainTheKids™ | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Stolencookie | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | MK | Wayferr | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | George | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 143 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | George | 130 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | MK | Wayferr | 128 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stolencookie | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ExplainTheKids™ | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George | +1.76 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | Stolencookie | +1.28 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | ExplainTheKids™ | +0.40 | 58 | 45 |
| #4 | B1O0M | +0.28 | 84 | 30 |
| #5 | MK | Wayferr | +0.01 | 63 | 53 |





