








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 795 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7759 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8502 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4923 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,771,160 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 599 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueBarryKing | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | Magnus | 54% | 92 |
| #3 | SP4CE | 54% | 93 |
| #4 | Wads | 53% | 246 |
| #5 | duTz™ | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Magnus | 54% | 92 |
| #3 | SP4CE | 54% | 93 |
| #4 | Wads | 53% | 246 |
| #5 | duTz™ | 50% | 74 |
| #6 | ✪LockDownツ | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wads | 30 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Magnus | 23 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | ✪LockDownツ | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | SP4CE | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BlueBarryKing | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wads | 656 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | SP4CE | 398 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | duTz™ | 337 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Magnus | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | BlueBarryKing | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wads | +0.40 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | H8 Fakie | +0.21 | 41 | 60 |
| #3 | SP4CE | +0.10 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | BlueBarryKing | -0.46 | 57 | 40 |
| #5 | ✪LockDownツ | -0.94 | 61 | 44 |





