








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3112 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2160 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1874 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2538 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,414 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ch1mple | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | Chu4Lyfe | 44% | 66 |
| #9 | =(^.^)= 7ckngmad | 43% | 94 |
| #10 | Luka | 42% | 98 |
| #11 | Breeze | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISIS | Zaytoven | 384 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Chu4Lyfe | 371 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #3 | =(^.^)= 7ckngmad | 344 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Luka | 268 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | .tokki` | 157 | 0.24 | 5 min |





