








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8141 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6663 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 15853 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 11177 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,845,911 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1755 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ᴾʳʸ (ツ) Coati | 50% | 120 |
| #4 | SirruX | 49% | 170 |
| #5 | Poli2009 | 49% | 107 |
| #6 | [SHG]_Nemesis# | 48% | 145 |
| #7 | *ᴾʳʸAzRa* | 46% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴾʳʸ (ツ) Coati | 13 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | [SHG]_Nemesis# | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | SirruX | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | LePrave81 | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | *ᴾʳʸAzRa* | 4 | 0.0009 |





