








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4695 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3747 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7500 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7677 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,219,149 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥Hinazoe♥ | 49% | 45 |
| #2 | ...they Call me dEvil | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | LePrave81 | 47% | 218 |
| #4 | DEHenry | 46% | 205 |
| #5 | :) | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEHenry | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | SirruX | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | [TTV]Schnittii94 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | NO VAC VERIFIZIERUNG | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ♥Hinazoe♥ | 3 | 0.0034 |





