








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 882 | 28% |
| Smokes | 758 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 824 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,897 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BjoRn | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | 45% | 56 |
| #3 | souskrt | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | AdSick | 41% | 61 |
| #5 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 39% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AdSick | 41% | 61 |
| #5 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 39% | 57 |
| #6 | HalalPeek ChabChab | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | 0 kill master | 36% | 25 |
| #8 | STEWIEe | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdSick | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | souskrt | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | HalalPeek ChabChab | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | STEWIEe | 3 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | 226 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | AdSick | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | souskrt | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | STEWIEe | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdSick | +3.90 | 85 | 40 |
| #2 | HalalPeek ChabChab | +1.68 | 71 | 36 |
| #3 | souskrt | +1.22 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | -0.56 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | STEWIEe | -1.18 | 68 | 58 |





