








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 783 | 35% |
| Smokes | 655 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 255 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,240 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | 43% | 125 |
| #8 | ♛adel♛ | 41% | 61 |
| #9 | 0 kill master | 39% | 88 |
| #10 | STEWIEe | 38% | 45 |
| #11 | Exan | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | souskrt | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | STEWIEe | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | HalalPeek GWO | 7 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | HalalPeek ChabChab | 6 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eSp!n0zA g4skins | 552 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | ♛adel♛ | 194 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | souskrt | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 152 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | HalalPeek ChabChab | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |





