








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1478 | 40% |
| Smokes | 512 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,057 of utility $10 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkku(: | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Kela | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | AmBeRτiεS | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | auquz CSGOSKINS | 42% | 50 |
| #5 | tristian "Yli G" Taateli | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkku(: | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Kela | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | AmBeRτiεS | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | auquz CSGOSKINS | 42% | 50 |
| #5 | tristian "Yli G" Taateli | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auquz CSGOSKINS | 35 | 0.0411 |
| #2 | AmBeRτiεS | 27 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | Elkku(: | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | tristian "Yli G" Taateli | 5 | 0.0272 |
| #5 | Kela | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AmBeRτiεS | 372 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | Elkku(: | 223 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kela | 93 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | auquz CSGOSKINS | 85 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | tristian "Yli G" Taateli | 35 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkku(: | +6.46 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Kela | +1.82 | 55 | 75 |
| #3 | AmBeRτiεS | +0.11 | 42 | 55 |
| #4 | tristian "Yli G" Taateli | -0.48 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Vez | -1.47 | 63 | 44 |





