










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4760 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5169 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4026 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3486 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,508,483 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 小心 | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | 蛤 | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Kenny | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Green | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Nob0dy | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green | 1283 | 0.27 | 35 min |
| #2 | Kenny | 1280 | 0.25 | 33 min |
| #3 | 蛤 | 699 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | Nob0dy | 583 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | Smile<3 | 403 | 0.21 | 9 min |





