








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 21% |
| Smokes | 636 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 921 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 203 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $301,417 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Infinity | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | WIFE BEATER | 40% | 75 |
| #4 | Ray Ray | 34% | 53 |
| #5 | Where is Waldo | 32% | 34 |
| #6 | =82ndR= Scarface | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where is Waldo | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | WIFE BEATER | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Ray Ray | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WIFE BEATER | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Where is Waldo | 94 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ray Ray | 93 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | =82ndR= Scarface | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Infinity | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where is Waldo | +4.42 | 51 | 71 |
| #2 | Infinity | +3.56 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | =82ndR= Scarface | +0.91 | 39 | 64 |
| #4 | zeni | -0.26 | 39 | 58 |
| #5 | WIFE BEATER | -3.02 | 16 | 46 |





