








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2320 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4566 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4677 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2260 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,430,707 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray Ray | 42% | 335 |
| #2 | zeni | 40% | 75 |
| #3 | =82ndR= Scarface | 37% | 146 |
| #4 | Where is Waldo | 36% | 116 |
| #5 | Infinity | 34% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray Ray | 42% | 335 |
| #2 | zeni | 40% | 75 |
| #3 | =82ndR= Scarface | 37% | 146 |
| #4 | Where is Waldo | 36% | 116 |
| #5 | Infinity | 34% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray Ray | 25 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Where is Waldo | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | zeni | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | =82ndR= Scarface | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Infinity | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray Ray | 686 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | Where is Waldo | 388 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | =82ndR= Scarface | 145 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | zeni | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Infinity | 113 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where is Waldo | +3.43 | 46 | 67 |
| #2 | Infinity | +2.11 | 54 | 65 |
| #3 | =82ndR= Scarface | +1.96 | 43 | 59 |
| #4 | zeni | +0.27 | 38 | 58 |
| #5 | WIFE BEATER | -1.56 | 22 | 49 |





