








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 626 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6537 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5303 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 11986 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 7252 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,547 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =82ndR= Scarface | 45% | 419 |
| #2 | Where is Waldo | 44% | 316 |
| #3 | Infinity | 42% | 204 |
| #4 | WIFE BEATER | 42% | 335 |
| #5 | zeni | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =82ndR= Scarface | 45% | 419 |
| #2 | Where is Waldo | 44% | 316 |
| #3 | Infinity | 42% | 204 |
| #4 | WIFE BEATER | 42% | 335 |
| #5 | zeni | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where is Waldo | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | =82ndR= Scarface | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Infinity | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | WIFE BEATER | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | zeni | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where is Waldo | 964 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | WIFE BEATER | 534 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | Infinity | 414 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | =82ndR= Scarface | 402 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | zeni | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where is Waldo | +2.61 | 45 | 67 |
| #2 | =82ndR= Scarface | +1.96 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | Infinity | +1.56 | 55 | 66 |
| #4 | zeni | -0.63 | 35 | 57 |
| #5 | WIFE BEATER | -1.32 | 23 | 48 |





