








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 606 | 26% |
| Smokes | 640 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 664 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,028 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Din Balraj | 73% | 64 |
| #2 | AbiBi Ishara | 69% | 77 |
| #3 | pagnif jr. | 62% | 98 |
| #4 | Fluhx❦ | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | theyputthemamsrbrchefeinthesoder | 60% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pagnif jr. | 14 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | AbiBi Ishara | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | theyputthemamsrbrchefeinthesoder | 12 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Din Balraj | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Fluhx❦ | 6 | 0.0170 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pagnif jr. | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | AbiBi Ishara | 258 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | theyputthemamsrbrchefeinthesoder | 114 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Din Balraj | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fluhx❦ | 30 | 0.09 | 0 min |





