








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3229 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2345 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,302 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3775 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Din Balraj | 71% | 56 |
| #2 | AbiBi Ishara | 62% | 108 |
| #3 | The Reverend Tholomew Plague | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | pagnif jr. | 50% | 178 |
| #5 | an_ac_unit | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | The Reverend Tholomew Plague | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | pagnif jr. | 50% | 178 |
| #5 | an_ac_unit | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | Princess Kenny | 30% | 30 |
| #7 | Warlod | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbiBi Ishara | 39 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | pagnif jr. | 23 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Din Balraj | 12 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | The Reverend Tholomew Plague | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | an_ac_unit | 4 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pagnif jr. | 430 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | AbiBi Ishara | 282 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Warlod | 108 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | The Reverend Tholomew Plague | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Princess Kenny | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbiBi Ishara | +7.61 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | pagnif jr. | +4.44 | 73 | 47 |
| #3 | The Reverend Tholomew Plague | +0.81 | 40 | 47 |
| #4 | theyputthemamsrbrchefeinthesoder | -2.18 | 31 | 48 |
| #5 | Din Balraj | -2.82 | 36 | 21 |





