








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1092 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 904 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 156 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




146 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9361 | 23% |
| Smokes | 12544 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 11321 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8367 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,464,789 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 63% | 87 |
| #2 | Bang | 63% | 72 |
| #3 | 女 | 62% | 73 |
| #4 | Squimshie | 55% | 295 |
| #5 | Squimshie | 54% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Squimshie | 54% | 82 |
| #6 | CheddarWrld | 51% | 521 |
| #7 | P L A N K 板 | 51% | 367 |
| #8 | Beasty | 50% | 400 |
| #9 | vegan hater2 | 49% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheddarWrld | 67 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | . | 34 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | Squimshie | 33 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | vegan hater2 | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | 女 | 15 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheddarWrld | 1030 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #2 | Beasty | 1011 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | P L A N K 板 | 710 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | Squimshie | 566 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | vegan hater2 | 282 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 女 | +4.58 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | Squimshie | +3.20 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | . | +2.94 | 75 | 22 |
| #4 | Squimshie | +2.74 | 84 | 52 |
| #5 | Bang | +2.31 | 70 | 44 |





