








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3292 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3056 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,120,408 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 989 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 女 | 63% | 76 |
| #2 | ~ z t o t h e s | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | Squimshie | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | HurgleDurgle | 51% | 367 |
| #5 | Beasty | 49% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HurgleDurgle | 63 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | CheddarWrld | 27 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | vegan hater2 | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | 女 | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Beasty | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squimshie | +7.13 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | 女 | +4.23 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | ~ z t o t h e s | +2.91 | 55 | 62 |
| #4 | HurgleDurgle | +1.40 | 34 | 59 |
| #5 | vegan hater2 | +0.43 | 65 | 39 |





