








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1437 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1531 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1341 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1592 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,009 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I unbound duck | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | Shadow Duck | 50% | 82 |
| #3 | Sheep | 48% | 108 |
| #4 | Binoms | 48% | 115 |
| #5 | 鸭子 | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Binoms | 48% | 115 |
| #5 | 鸭子 | 38% | 29 |
| #6 | Burst_Frame | 38% | 74 |
| #7 | duck lover | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | Expensive Decoy | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burst_Frame | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | I unbound duck | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Binoms | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Sheep | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Shadow Duck | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheep | 153 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Binoms | 130 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | I unbound duck | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shadow Duck | 87 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Expensive Decoy | 79 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I unbound duck | +5.37 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | Dolby | -0.18 | 62 | 52 |
| #3 | Sheep | -0.29 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | 鸭子 | -0.38 | 57 | 52 |
| #5 | duck lover | -0.95 | 55 | 39 |





