








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3151 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2234 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1805 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2936 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,059 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaucyLovers | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | TheKiwiPing | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | revise | 60% | 161 |
| #4 | Mitty | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | Andyy | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mitty | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | Andyy | 56% | 39 |
| #6 | Shavvy | 56% | 114 |
| #7 | Uncle Dan | 54% | 306 |
| #8 | Shelly | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Dan | 35 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | revise | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Shavvy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Mitty | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | TheKiwiPing | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revise | 584 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Uncle Dan | 490 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Shavvy | 264 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mitty | 119 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | SaucyLovers | 84 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revise | +3.93 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Mitty | +3.70 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | kuro | +2.12 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | SaucyLovers | +1.90 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | Andyy | +0.38 | 56 | 31 |





