








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2210 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1700 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1279 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,745 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revise | 64% | 148 |
| #2 | kuro | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Shavvy | 61% | 59 |
| #4 | Shelly | 54% | 81 |
| #5 | Andyy | 54% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revise | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Andyy | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Shelly | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | DonnieLord | 10 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | Toad | 5 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revise | 586 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | Shavvy | 182 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | DonnieLord | 162 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shelly | 138 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Andyy | 128 | 0.06 | 2 min |





