










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1925 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2343 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1962 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2508 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,576 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonamed | 50% | 102 |
| #2 | Master Baiter | 48% | 240 |
| #3 | kartofel | 45% | 181 |
| #4 | matmac09 | 44% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonamed | 50% | 102 |
| #2 | Master Baiter | 48% | 240 |
| #3 | kartofel | 45% | 181 |
| #4 | matmac09 | 44% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matmac09 | 27 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Nonamed | 17 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Master Baiter | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | kartofel | 13 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kartofel | 672 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Master Baiter | 561 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nonamed | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | matmac09 | 18 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kartofel | +2.06 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Master Baiter | +0.45 | 50 | 50 |
| #3 | MrXimus | -0.05 | 39 | 61 |
| #4 | Nonamed | -1.68 | 37 | 36 |
| #5 | matmac09 | -1.92 | 41 | 19 |





