








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2656 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2675 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 931 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2378 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,737 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shatap | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Nonamed | 50% | 113 |
| #3 | Master Baiter | 48% | 223 |
| #4 | matmac09 | 47% | 154 |
| #5 | MrXimus | 45% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shatap | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Nonamed | 50% | 113 |
| #3 | Master Baiter | 48% | 223 |
| #4 | matmac09 | 47% | 154 |
| #5 | MrXimus | 45% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matmac09 | 28 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | MrXimus | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Nonamed | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Master Baiter | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | shatap | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Baiter | 511 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | MrXimus | 382 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Nonamed | 101 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | shatap | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | matmac09 | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kartofel | +2.03 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | shatap | +0.91 | 65 | 44 |
| #3 | Master Baiter | +0.72 | 49 | 50 |
| #4 | MrXimus | -0.43 | 38 | 61 |
| #5 | Nonamed | -1.84 | 39 | 36 |





