








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3135 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2103 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1678 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,517 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonamed | 51% | 111 |
| #2 | matmac09 | 50% | 181 |
| #3 | kartofel | 48% | 223 |
| #4 | MrXimus | 48% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonamed | 51% | 111 |
| #2 | matmac09 | 50% | 181 |
| #3 | kartofel | 48% | 223 |
| #4 | MrXimus | 48% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrXimus | 37 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | matmac09 | 35 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Nonamed | 21 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | kartofel | 19 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kartofel | 794 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | MrXimus | 519 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Nonamed | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | matmac09 | 20 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kartofel | +1.98 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Master Baiter | +0.67 | 50 | 49 |
| #3 | MrXimus | -0.03 | 40 | 62 |
| #4 | matmac09 | -1.93 | 41 | 12 |
| #5 | Nonamed | -2.04 | 41 | 33 |





