








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4619 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3712 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3919 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,713 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COME TO BRAZIL | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Distraction Tits | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | PatchyS | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | tig | 49% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PatchyS | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | tig | 49% | 212 |
| #6 | nosnibors | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | Irfaan Ali | 46% | 157 |
| #8 | legend | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irfaan Ali | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | tig | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | nosnibors | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Distraction Tits | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosnibors | 306 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | Irfaan Ali | 301 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | tig | 206 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | COME TO BRAZIL | 131 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | Distraction Tits | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COME TO BRAZIL | +6.36 | 86 | 87 |
| #2 | nosnibors | +4.93 | 84 | 90 |
| #3 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | +1.29 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | Distraction Tits | +1.16 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | Bapples | +0.71 | 66 | 60 |





