








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 915 | 28% |
| Smokes | 964 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 573 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 775 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,614 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zombie | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | kUUbA | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | batomeu | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Voltyx | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | dex | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | hhje | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | Filios | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | Prezervat1 | 33% | 15 |
| #9 | myth- | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | MatyM | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hhje | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | batomeu | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Prezervat1 | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Zombie | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | dex | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prezervat1 | 99 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | hhje | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | myth- | 80 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | Voltyx | 61 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | batomeu | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltyx | +2.92 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | kUUbA | +2.84 | 86 | 75 |
| #3 | MatyM | +2.44 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | batomeu | +2.14 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Zombie | +1.58 | 79 | 36 |





