








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 872 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1040 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1017 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,732 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prc):) | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | Voltyx | 84% | 25 |
| #3 | kUUbA | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Dogofogo | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | 1.07 K/D Demon ツ | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SUSenka | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | qa1kee | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | Prezervat1 | 53% | 30 |
| #9 | BlooM-AE | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | hhje | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prezervat1 | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Voltyx | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | prc):) | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | 1.07 K/D Demon ツ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | kUUbA | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prezervat1 | 143 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Voltyx | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | 1.07 K/D Demon ツ | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | SUSenka | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | hhje | 29 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kUUbA | +4.91 | 93 | 73 |
| #2 | BlooM-AE | +3.91 | 75 | 46 |
| #3 | batomeu | +2.61 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | prc):) | +1.82 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | Voltyx | +1.38 | 68 | 67 |





