








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3243 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5180 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2480 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,919 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElGasman | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | I goon to Lewis Hamilton | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | 𝕯𝖔𝖒𝖎_ | 55% | 85 |
| #4 | Polski Jeżyk.skins.army | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | DSQ Gresso | 51% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Polski Jeżyk.skins.army | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | DSQ Gresso | 51% | 108 |
| #6 | DSQ Kapitan Robert Żeleźny | 50% | 305 |
| #7 | RMA.JOHNSON | 50% | 258 |
| #8 | I goon to Ryan Gosling | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DSQ Kapitan Robert Żeleźny | 50 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | DSQ Gresso | 42 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | RMA.JOHNSON | 41 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | 𝕯𝖔𝖒𝖎_ | 30 | 0.0193 |
| #5 | ElGasman | 13 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DSQ Kapitan Robert Żeleźny | 348 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | I goon to Ryan Gosling | 195 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | 𝕯𝖔𝖒𝖎_ | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | RMA.JOHNSON | 82 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | DSQ Gresso | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I goon to Lewis Hamilton | +7.03 | 81 | 40 |
| #2 | DSQ Gresso | +3.04 | 46 | 20 |
| #3 | 21 | +2.14 | 37 | 47 |
| #4 | RMA.JOHNSON | +0.44 | 34 | 16 |
| #5 | ElGasman | +0.30 | 43 | 32 |





