








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 25% |
| Smokes | 235 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 484 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,955 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 21 | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | DSQ Kapitan Robert Żeleźny | 45% | 154 |
| #6 | I goon to Lewis Hamilton | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | 30pingu | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | I goon to Ryan Gosling | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 21 | 31 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | DSQ Kapitan Robert Żeleźny | 19 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | RMA.JOHNSON | 19 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | ElGasman | 11 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | I goon to Lewis Hamilton | 5 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 21 | 229 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | 30pingu | 88 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | DSQ Kapitan Robert Żeleźny | 78 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | I goon to Ryan Gosling | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | RMA.JOHNSON | 37 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I goon to Lewis Hamilton | +7.25 | 79 | 37 |
| #2 | DSQ Gresso | +3.83 | 46 | 21 |
| #3 | RMA.JOHNSON | +0.78 | 35 | 11 |
| #4 | ElGasman | -0.39 | 44 | 37 |
| #5 | 21 | -0.82 | 22 | 42 |





