








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1188 | 40% |
| Smokes | 894 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 274 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,229 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ke1jo | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Ra's al Goon | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | juissi | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | may0nesy | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Vege? | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ke1jo | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Ra's al Goon | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | juissi | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | may0nesy | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Vege? | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | may0nesy | 75 | 0.0443 |
| #2 | ke1jo | 14 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | Vege? | 11 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Ra's al Goon | 8 | 0.0281 |
| #5 | juissi | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | may0nesy | 314 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vege? | 132 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ke1jo | 118 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ra's al Goon | 72 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | juissi | 37 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | may0nesy | +4.36 | 72 | 42 |
| #2 | Ra's al Goon | +3.14 | 46 | 55 |
| #3 | ke1jo | -0.04 | 35 | 31 |
| #4 | Vege? | -0.74 | 33 | 36 |
| #5 | s1xSEVEN | -1.08 | 15 | 42 |





