










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 573 | 54% |
| Smokes | 232 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,285 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1xSEVEN | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Akselib | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | may0nesy | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | juissi | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Ra's al Goon | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | may0nesy | 31 | 0.0380 |
| #2 | s1xSEVEN | 15 | 0.0223 |
| #3 | Ra's al Goon | 7 | 0.0347 |
| #4 | Akselib | 3 | 0.0250 |
| #5 | Vege? | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1xSEVEN | 193 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #2 | may0nesy | 144 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vege? | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ra's al Goon | 48 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | juissi | 19 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | may0nesy | +5.54 | 81 | 42 |
| #2 | Akselib | +3.26 | 65 | 47 |
| #3 | Ra's al Goon | +0.71 | 44 | 61 |
| #4 | Vege? | +0.66 | 33 | 30 |
| #5 | ke1jo | +0.12 | 36 | 29 |





