








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1510 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2360 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 833 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,533 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSAI | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 46% | 173 |
| #3 | Sajtospogi | 44% | 302 |
| #4 | The Buday | 44% | 93 |
| #5 | ✞ G | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | The Buday | 44% | 93 |
| #5 | ✞ G | 43% | 143 |
| #6 | minotru | 43% | 207 |
| #7 | Koaly | 39% | 105 |
| #8 | SkeetLeon | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Sajtospogi | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | minotru | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✞ G | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | BUSAI | 6 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 410 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Koaly | 297 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | The Buday | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✞ G | 154 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sajtospogi | 78 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSAI | +3.98 | 58 | 60 |
| #2 | Levifhajfdlaéj | +2.92 | 55 | 57 |
| #3 | ✞ G | +1.49 | 56 | 58 |
| #4 | The Buday | +0.38 | 27 | 71 |
| #5 | Koaly | -0.33 | 51 | 48 |





