








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 634 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2093 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1639 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2069 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,367 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SunshineKiller | 28% | 58 |
| #10 | MrFox | 27% | 22 |
| #11 | Fire-Ball | 26% | 58 |
| #12 | 88_Lemonade | 25% | 20 |
| #13 | EttOne | 20% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunmaster | 22 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | MARAKESH | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | EttOne | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | D-X | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | SunshineKiller | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunmaster | 545 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Die_kwagga_vis | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | D-X | 93 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pepe Julian Onzima | 72 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | MARAKESH | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |





